i hate my life

to put it in simple terms; I was right. i vividly remember that I, Stephen Truban, brought up in a socratic circle discussion that i believed Kurtz would not turn out like he is all talked up to be. Yet i was laughed at and ignored just like all my other comments that i choose to speak of.

Yes, Kurtz wasn't all he was talked up to be, instead of a almighty human who has and rugged and awesome life, he is a crazy person. although i do feel sorry for him. I find that the only reason he turned out like he did was because of Africa. He, being the only one to conquer the uncharted places, was left by himself, except for the natives. I think its kind of like cabin fervor. now, if i was in a discussion i would say it relates to the movie The Shinning, but no one would accept the connection, say i wasn't productive, laugh maybe, then move on. It seems obvious that Kurtz's illnesses are physical, but i really think it is more than that. I perceive Kurtz's illness as mental, that was caused by the physical separation from European social environments. I feel that it was very convenient that Marlow became ill on this trip too. Mabye this is for the same reasons by which Kurtz was ill, i dont know, and will ask in discussion tomorrow.

I would like to point out that i did say in the first discussion that the trip into Africa was up stream, therefore slow. It now mentioned that the trip was quick out of Africa because they were with the current. That comment was also ignored. And i dont know exactly what it symbolizes yet, still thinking about it. it might have something to do with the newness of the surroundings to Marlow.